The Cabbage Heads

Dumber than a bag of hammers…

“USB”

Once tried to charge his phone in a toaster.

“Loose Change”

Always broke. Never knows how.

“Side Quest”

Left for cigarettes in 2009…

“Dial-Up”

Still waits for things to “load” in real life.

“Roadkill”

Got hit by a shopping cart and still tells the story like a war injury.

“Pothole”

Trips on flat ground.

“Backwash”

Has never once grabbed the correct beer — still drank it anyway.

“Sketch Pad”

Nobody knows what he does — but everyone’s sure it’s illegal.